one more time.

aww!

2006-01-02T22:34:00.000-08:00

Hey i miss you!
wala akong ma hug dito!
wala na kong makwentuhan ng mga nangyayari sa kapitbahay namin!

falling star!

2005-12-15T18:59:00.000-08:00

nowell: oo nga eh! may red carpet sa hallway!
me: grabe! sosyal!!
nowell: oo nga eh! star kasi yung theme nila eh!
me: wow, ano costume mo later??
nowell: wala pero meron akong gagawin!
me: ano, sabihin mo sakin
nowell: wala lang, mamaya mahuhulog ako tapos magpapagulong gulong sa sahig yun ang gagawin ko! star ako non! alam mo kung bakit? falling star ako mamaya!
me: hahahahahahahahahha! panalo ka talaga i miss you!

ana said..

2005-12-15T01:33:00.000-08:00

isang blessing magkaroon ng daughter na gaya mo...

you think? i don't know. feeling ko mas pabigat pa ako sa bahay eh :/

dana and rache

2005-12-07T01:29:00.000-08:00

chasing_cloud: naalala ko sabi ni dana yung beneficiaries natin sa outreach
chasing_cloud: mga teenagers
chasing_cloud: kasi baka raw dun nya makilala soulmate nya
chasing_cloud: hehe!
rache_anne2002: hehe.kakloka kau

haha! i love dana! and rachelle too!

back in HS, dana had this pauso of calling me sapanty/samedwin echantay for some reason :D i couldn't forget the letter i got from her when i was sent to a presscon: "una sa lahat, hanggang dito na lang. babay! wag mo kalimutan magpanty!" haha basta she's soo funny! and i would always kiss her cheek kasi super smooth! haha! then there's rachelle and haaay she just rocks!

quizzies

2005-11-29T20:55:00.000-08:00

Your Reputation Is: Sweet Girl

While you're well known, there's nothing to worry about.

You're reputation is mostly good - as good as any rep can be.

What's Your Reputation?

Guys Like That You're Fun

You're the type of girl guys brag about knowing

That's because you're cool, funny, and laid back

You're smart enough to know how to be one of the guys

But flirty enough to know how to make them all want you

What Do Guys Like About You?

I WANT TO

2005-11-09T23:37:00.000-08:00

...hit the videoke booth and belt out "total eclipse of the heart" right NOW!

22

2005-10-24T02:59:00.000-07:00

officemate mark: sam ilang taon ka na?
me: 22
officemate mark: o? 22 ka na? akala ko menor de edad ka lang!

weh weh weh. hehe.

i spent two hours of my birthday discussing showbiz chismis while watching "the buzz" and "asap fanatics" with my best friends hehe :D

going garfield this time

2005-10-21T00:07:00.001-07:00

eto pa

2005-10-21T00:07:00.000-07:00

2005-10-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

i was on my way to the girls' room when officemate nowell called me out. "huy alika rito may ipapakilala ako!"

nowell: cecille, this is our creative director.
me *extending my hand*: hi!
cecille: you're handling what account?
me: i handle all the accounts.
cecille: wow!
nowell: yes, this is our creative director.
me: yes, i'm the youngest in the history of advertising.

hahaha mga ewan. cecille is such a darling :D:D

october by collapsis

2005-10-07T01:04:00.000-07:00

Pumpkin seed gonna get you soon.
Cous cous, kitchenware, attitude...
Nothing more than an acorn shell.
Yeah this is my October.
Shadow me accordingly.

Nothing more than a bit too fast.
Fall down, hit the ground, not meant to last.
Nothing more than a need to yell.
That this is my October.
Let me die.

Since I've been running out of empty,
All I have is candy bars
And costumes to defend me.
You say,
"We used to taste so sweet."
Do I look like candy?
Do I look like candy?

Pumpkin gonna get too quick.
Cous cous, kitchen wear, I'm full of shit.
And nothing more than a need to yell
That this is my October.
Shadow me accordingly.

And I never thought we'd break this ground.
Fall down, hit the ground, don't make a sound.
It's been nothing more than a big cheep thrill.
Yeah yeah this is my October.
Let me die.

Since I've been running out of empty,
All I have is candy bars
And costumes to defend me.
You say,
"We used to taste so sweet."
Do I look like candy?
Like candy
Like candy
Like candy

Ya, da, da, da'm gonna die
Yeah this is my October

quizzie

2005-09-28T20:33:00.000-07:00

Modern, Cool Nerd
65 % Nerd, 52% Geek, 34% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

Congratulations!

Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 71% on nerdiness

You scored higher than 75% on geekosity

You scored higher than 54% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid

i miss college

2005-09-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

alaga alaga namin si puti
bakang mataba, bakang maputi
bigyan mo ng damo
unga unga unga
unga unga unga
bakang mataba

:(

one more!

2005-09-21T01:13:00.001-07:00

new hobby!!!

2005-09-21T01:13:00.000-07:00

room maker

dumdeedum

2005-09-21T00:27:00.000-07:00

me: uy punta ka hongkong disneyland, pang enchanted lang ako eh
jayson: ako nga, star city lang eh
mark: ako nga payanig sa pasig lang nga eh.

hehehe. meron pa ba nun? :D

this is sweet --> "am,am! gud morning! nkaunlimited text ako sa globe pero kht smart k, im texting u jst 2 let u know, i love you bestfriend! mwaah! ingat ka!" <3 i love guia!

it's her sister's 18th birthday this saturday. grabe dalaga na talaga si chi! i love ia and her sisters :) haay. i love her entire family...sama pa sila lola, tita grace whom i now call "kumars" because her son's my inaanak and of course, gabby and sean :):)

2005-09-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

when i was in landmark this afternoon, i had to stop myself from chuckling as i remembered the time thad and i hosted our org's concert two months ago and cracked the LAMEST, corniest of the corniest joke ever. priceless was the crowd's "huh?" reaction. hehe! sabi ko naman kasi kay thad wag na ijoke yun sa audience pero ang kulet. basta, it had something to do with maui taylor.

hehe wala lang :D

wala lang

2005-08-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

when my officemate told me he'd skip mountain-climbing this weekend for the benefit of his skin, i exclaimed: "ipagpapalit mo ba ang karanasan sa balat?"

ick. heehee. ano na namang banat yan! :D

aysus

2005-08-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

Many people see you as Truly Nice! Congradulations
on being a nice, smart, and generally a happy
person! It's hard to find nice people nowadays!

What Do People Truly See You As? (lots of outcomes and stunning pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-08-17T02:38:00.000-07:00

me: uy pwede tomorrow na lang?
art director: eh pwede bukas na lang?
me: sige bukas na lang.
art director: eh tomorrow na lang!

hehe ang labo :D

guia called me here at work and she passed the phone to gabby, who's turning 6 next next week! "ate sam punta ka na dito, sige naaaaaaa."

"gabby nasa office pa ako eh, malayo ako dyan."

"ah basta. hihintayin kita! tawagan mo ako pag malapit ka na ha? tapos magkakantahan tayo tapos papakita ko sa iyo iyong power rangers notebook ko!"

haaaay i love that kid to bits!

i might as well transform this to a joke site

2005-08-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

"ano sabi ng panda sa photographer?"

(okay let's pretend you say "ano?")

"pare wag black and white ha!"

hehehe!:D i had to crack that in the middle of a brainstorming before things got more boring! hehe.

okay back to work! :) lunch with ck later yiheee!

nagsinungaling ka ba??

2005-07-04T14:15:00.000-07:00

english translation: JULY??

hehe!

yay

2005-06-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

lady's choice gig at 70s bistro later! oh yeah!

dati patugtog tugtog lang sa baranggay nangka ngayon 70s bistro na!!! next stop - araneta! hehe.

plus point: i'll be with tol rian the whole night! <3

random: another unsent note

2005-06-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

i miss the way you call me "baliw." i know it was your way of complimenting me.

i miss our walang-tulugan-walang-humpay-na-barubalan-at-gaguhan moments.

i miss your ego. "ganyan talaga pag pogi, samitae!" and the way you sabotage my name all the time, too.

can i go home now?

2005-06-17T16:56:00.000-07:00

my desktop here in the office. hee. wala lang.

morning saw me going frantic over coming up with lee kum kee taglines. by lunchtime my work's done so i went on to finish my sally and jenny essay. then: text, text, download, download, customize desktop, upload pictures, write, write, comb hair, powder face then attend to this blog as another attempt to kill the time. hehe. but i'm not complaining ei? right after this, i'm off to sit quietly and pore over a maya angelou book.

this evening, i'd be able to claim my garfield book which i won from ebay! sixty pesos of orange happiness!!! :)

jack kerouac

2005-06-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

But then they danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

gusto ko matulog.

wow

2005-06-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

someone from the garfield fans LJ community posted this:

look at all those stuffed garfields!!!

wow. i'm humbled.

dizzy up the girl

2005-05-31T17:15:00.000-07:00

ahh nahihilo ako. all day i kept revising that blasted radio script for a styling gel promo featuring diana zubiri. then came another revision for the FHM advertorial. my art director's obviously pissed off with what i did but hey, i was just following some orders here. i wanna go home right away but i've to go to UP for a date with chelsea.

it's mo's last day in the office and i'm gonna miss her so much :(

i like to move it move it

2005-05-29T22:56:00.000-07:00

i love madagascar!!!!!!!!!!!!

watched it with friends this weekend. saya! bumped into HS friend rache before that, she said i look like her daughter! "sam parang mag-ina tayo ha!" hehe which then gave way to our role playing game wherein she'd go speak to me as if i were her kid.

"o anak ano gusto mo, pili ka lang?"
"ma akala ko ba sabi mo garden natin tong gateway?"

"ma bakit ang daming tao sa garden natin?"
"anak imagination mo lang yan mga multo yan."

"o yan toy car (referring to a nissan on display) gusto mo??" :D i almost forgot how wacky that girl is!

dinner at pizza hut alimall after that. you gotta love cubao! ;)

manila zoo!!!

2005-05-27T09:15:00.000-07:00

guess who's going there later??!?!? ME ME ME ME!!

hee! i'm so excited! i've been bugging my friends about it and because they love me, they finally caved in to my idea of an educational field trip aka manila zoo gimmick!last time i was there, i was 12 and the entrance fee was 6pesos, i think? i know manila zoo right now isn't as fabulous as avilon zoo, and i might just get disheartened from finding out its awry condition but still!! manila zoo is an institution of everyone's childhood! can't wait to go giddy and squealy from seeing animals!

my biggest thanks to people who still read this junk! hehe!

okay now i should stop ending every sentence with exclamation mark! :D

hi there

2005-05-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

on an interview, mark was asked "who's the happiest person you know?" in a heartbeat, he answered " my bestfriend sam!" hee! he expounded his answer, mentioning my optimism ladeeda and even went as far as including my knack for jokes! that even though some of my jokes aren't funny, he and other friends would laugh at my delivery. i really don't see the point why he had to include that hehe but i'm touched nonetheless. it's comforting to know that he sees me that, although he is aware that things aren't exactly peachy keen on my side. i've been brewing some drama lately which i'd set aside for a while because hey, someone believes i'm the happiest person!

anyway, here's an sms exchange with mikey, my 18year old brother:

me: kokey!
mikey: kokey okey!
me: kokey okey mokey!
mikey: kokey okey mokey bokey!
me: kokey okey mokey bokey shokey!

and so on and so forth :D haha. i love my brothers!

guia's email excerpts

2005-05-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

...Iemail mo na lang saken ung joke mo para madali ko na lang mai-joke kase documented na.

...GUSTO KO PUMUNTA NG GALERA! Feeling ko, ako na lang di pumupunta don! Haaay, o cige. Ayan ha, ang haba nito. KElangan mahaba rin. MORE JOKES!!!!!!! Cige till here, baka bigla mo maisipan na rin na magpcall center, hehehehhe. Cige po, gudnyt! Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

hee!

from donnie

2005-04-11T16:13:00.000-07:00

knock knock
who's there
medicine
medicine who

bayang magiliw ---
medicine.

got it? medicine = ready sing! hehe.

thank god for friends who have the same humor as mine! :D

it was so grand just holding someone's hand

2005-03-11T15:51:00.000-08:00

And so she woke up from a dream
That was beautiful starry and so wild
It was all still clear in her eyes
And though her mind was foggy
And blank she wondered why
Her life couldn't be as lovely
it was time...
There was this king he had no castle or throne
But his horse was great and white
He rode alone and liked it that way
But when he met her he swore
He would never leave her side...
They rode across the land
Two lovers hand in hand
And no danger could come near
And when something made her cry
She'd look at him teary eyed
And he would make her feel better
Oh so much better so much better than before
And now this forest was their home
It was a night time
And the right time for love
In the dark
She placed her hand upon his chest
And all the rest just flowed
Makin' love down under an ancient far away night
It was so grand just holdin' someone's hand
And now safety came naturally
It was so clear that she would never
ever have to fear
Oh tell me a story of magic and spiralling ships
And stars in the night
Just whisper in my ears
Make it soft but make it clear
I want to hear every breath you say
He placed his hand upon her breast
But she woke up from the land
Tears falling in her hands
As she looked up askin' why
She laid back in her bed
Thoughts raising in her head
Why can't my life be beautiful she said
As she closed her eyes again
Just prayin' he'd return
But only Darkness Fell upon her...

an lj survey reminded me once more of how beautiful "darkness fell" is. all-time favorite song. the one that had been my anthem, the song i listened to on those nights when i had taken the liberty of claiming that i was that girl who woke up in a dream that was beautiful starry and wild. every line of that song i had ingested seriously, trying so hard to romanticize my life and jam it into the song's context..god i remember feeling so fragile and beautiful as i listened to basti artadi lolling on my past. basti's a genius. how he wrote and sang this one...i couldn't even word the right adjectives out. when he sang this live on wolfgang's january 26 gig, i'd been completely won over. oh god, i could just listen to this song forever and still be not immuned from going "awwwwwwww."

(for the record, i never want to be that girl in the song again. enough heartaches and "darkness fell"-induced tears for this lady.)

time to get this thing updated

2005-03-10T17:17:00.000-08:00

just this afternoon, i had the worst dysmenorrhea ever. the cramps started building up while we were walking along tordesillas st. salcedo village and on our way back to the building, it got so worse i just wanted to sprawl out on the road and cry. my officemate kept talking, i had to exert a lot of effort to understand what she was saying because my entire body was gripped with so much pain there was no room to concentrate on anything else. my head was reeling, i was so sure i would pass out any second. by the time we got back in the elevator, i had the hugest urge to throw up...i almost did, actually. good thing, i was situated on the back and no one saw the attempt to puke my intestines out. my, my. me gagging and stinking the elevator up..that would be such a scene eh?

even upon reaching the cubicle, i was still writhing in pain. i could almost imagine my uterus (or whatever's responsible for this monthly thing. sorry i sorta forgot my anatomy) ramming my lower abdomen, beating the hell out of me. i prayed this jostling activity inside me would just stop. tylenol came along but for the first thirty minutes, nothing was still happening i almost entertained the fact of filing sick leave and going home.

but look who's better and blogging now hee.

man i hope i'd never have to go through that again.

~~anyways, i've got nothing in my hands right now so i'm just waiting for 6pm to strike and off i go.~~ news just got out that we have to render overtime :/

i can't wait for the weekend. it's so true. you'll never know the real worth of weekends until you start working. i salivate at the thought of 2 days break: dining and lunching out, meaty conversations, hugs and laughter, studio d and that's so raven on saturday morning, as told by ginger at 1:30am, burning phone lines, writing away until three a.m, just being with the people who keep you from burning out. last weekend was fab, i spent the saturday hanging out with mark and driving him crazy with my melodrama, and eventually him driving me crazy with his "okay pag-usapan natin ang pagtitipid mo" lecture. behold my conscience for nine years and counting haha. mcdo and mocha blends and pizza hut, fun fun fun. earlier on, i got to talk to ferdie, the LA-based married friend and what to expect but our nonstop teasing re: our confrontation circa 1996. sometimes i don't know when will we ever reach the point of letting that lame incident go. every freaking single conversation always goes back to that day when i was too young to understand what sarcasm was all about. it's exasperating, but oddly enjoyable so it's all okay. you just gotta love that guy.

and oh oh oh, i watched my first PBA game last sunday! my cousin's playing for ginebra temporarily so we snagged ourselves free upper box tickets. far from the court but man oh man i never knew it'd be so wild seeing the action live! it was something. looking forward to another game but i do hope we get seated at the patron section this time. last sunday was a pain because my poor eyesight somehow kept me from totally enjoying the game..i didn't know who was shooting the ball, for pete's sake!

i don't know what else to write about soo bye for now. sucks that this site is getting more dormant by the minute but i vow to turn to here for more mindless ramblings. i write here more often but you just can't kiss good spiffy blogspot goodbye!

soul sister

2005-02-22T11:39:00.000-08:00

last night at starbucks, she handed me this lovely book, "wintering: a novel of sylvia plath." just because. such a sweet surprise i hugged her five times. she turned the book to the fourth page and there it was, a message that just had me tearing over and hugging her more.

february 2005

sis,
this novel is for you. i'll still try to get you "the journals" pero when i saw this book, i thought you may want to have it as well. =) this book is for the master writer in you sis. please remember that a lot of people believe in your talent as a writer and i'm on top of that list.

i believe so much in your gift sis and i wouldn't be surprised if you become a palanca awardee in the future. continue writing, i'm always here to support you. i love you =)

always,
your soul sis

nakakahiya namang hindi ko marating mga pangarap nya para sa akin :) pero sapat na ang magkaroon ng mga kaibigang tulad nya, yung sobra ang tiwala sa iyo kahit ikaw mismo nagdududa na kung may magagawa ka ba.

2005-02-15T12:13:00.000-08:00

What's Your Outlook on Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-02-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

layout courtesy of chedie, my lovely officemate slash www fairy, who also introduced to me the paradise that is japan foundation library located at the 12th floor of our building. it's really heaven, man! complete works of haruki murakami, banana yoshimoto, oe kenzaburo etcetera etcetera. too bad borrowing is restricted so either you just photocopy the entire book or you sneak out of work and stay inside the library. we're always tempted to go for the latter hehe. one time chedie and i went there, i took sputnik sweetheart off the shelf, read and read, happily absorbing words and characters, eventually forgetting that i've got some work to do up there at the 20th floor. i returned to my workstation and the first thing the creative director asked me was where the heck did i go. i dished out the safest answer and the oldest excuse in the ad agency: "sa bangko po."

anyway, so yeah this is the blog. i think i'm going to attend to it the same way i update often in livejournal. included in the links section are my past sites dating back from 2002! my main site was from envy.nu then and it was just so unbelievably crappy. i knew so little about HTML that i did not have any idea that the reason my stars image wouldn't show up as a background was because i didn't have it uploaded online. i remember pestering my friend comets to go online and see if he could see some stars but all he could see was this ugly frame in a stark white background. three years later, nothing much has changed
hehe. i guess up to now i still can't get the entire photoshop artistry and web aesthetics. i've got some online friends who are just so wow in this department though and i'm proud. they're all over there in the links section, go visit them!

as far as i know, no one from my highschool friends reads this (i have a little trouble with offline people going through my writing), so it's safe to announce this here: my good friend ferdie, now LA-based, is now married! and i'm the only one from the HS batch who knows about it! it's just so strange hearing him go "..my wife just..." "my wife did..." the first time he told me about his engagement was in itself a bombshell. so this afternoon, after our exchange of hellos, how are yous, i dropped him the "oh, kelan ka ba ikakasal?" question and he just SO stumped me when he casually answered, "i am married for four days now." AAAHHHHHH. surreal, surreal. this is the same guy whom i had a nasty history with back in first year highschool. haha. for today's phone call we just went crazy reminiscing that particular episode that transformed us to enemies for quite some time. i forgot how we ever made amends but really, i still shudder remembering how lame my retort was, how i came out as an unsuccessful bitch, how it was a poor display of my angry little self, how embarrassing everything was. but i bet if it weren't for that, ferdie and i wouldn't be close buds now, though he still manages to torture me by recapping that confrontation and pointing out how madrama i was. drat it, the guy just can't let that incident go! hehe.

okay. so now i realize i'm randomly yakking on and on. it's valentine's day tomorrow so i'll leave you with a poem i wrote for my HS paper vday issue. groan all you want, hehe.

Dear Cupid

You should be fired from your job
You don't seem to know what's love
You disappointed me, sad to say
You're not suited for Valentine's Day.

It's either you shot the arrow in the wrong direction
That's why the guy wouldn't pay me attention
Or probably the tip of the arrow isn't pointed
So the effect is enormously affected.

I also presume you always sleep
Your vow of work you do not keep
Or you do not take your job seriously
Or your eye vision isn't twenty-over-twenty.

I should say to Venus, your mother
To handle the job to a professional archer
'Cause maybe you just can't aim the target
So my boy's heart remains hole-free and unscathed.

All right, Cupid, I'll give you another chance
So that at least you can improve your performance
Make sure the arrow’s pointed and in the right direction
So when you shoot his heart, I'll have his affection.

*shakes head* haay, what did i know about love then. alright, bye now!

garfieldstuff.com

2004-10-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

if i have a million dollars, i know where half of it will go.

http://www.garfieldstuff.com

i have added every single garfield item to my online shopping cart. all this clicking and drooling is damn fun but after realizing i am just doing a makebelieve shopping...gawd, you just can't imagine the disappointment. sigh.

i want you.

2004-09-27T10:43:00.000-07:00

written early last year, when i was desperate to come up with a leftist article because i was desperate to appear on a leftist-somewhat lit folio. okay but my attempt was ditched HAHA. but who cares? i have blogspot to cushion the rejection.

feel free to cringe though. i try too hard to sound -- uh, what's the word -- proletarian.

Stellar

The star. A hungry little soul reeking from the celestial ceiling
Shimmering recklessly, wide-eyed, beautiful
Notwithstanding eons of floating languidly
And making love with the haughty moon.
God held it as a pearl to the oyster that is the earth
And dangled it under Baltazar and company's noses,
Pinocchio believed in its wishing power
So did Cinderella and the fairy tale denizens;

Then came the time when men and all others
snatched it from the heavens.
They stripped off its twinkling veneer
And varnished it with splotches of the mundane
Catapulted it to a tower of fake divinity,
atop a shabby pine tree:
Caltex plastered it in all its oil hike glory
Everything ABS-CBN is deemed as a star
You need extra inches you eat this margarine
Sweet Jesus, Nora Aunor became the Superstar.

And the sickening adulation to the Star-Spangled Banner
And the supernova-sized monstrosity of those in power

No wonder. The child who pounds on your car window every morning,
never gets his nightly wishes of three meals a day
and a new set of feet.

2004-09-16T01:49:00.000-07:00

i gawked at hundreds of cotton ball clouds wedged together in the purple orange carpet of a sky. when i expanded my view to include the tinted sheets that lolled on top of other clumps and solid mists, i almost believed that the sky was another land, another terrain with its own mountains and ridges and ravines, a grand canyon - only more beautiful. -april 29, 2004

i dream of becoming a writer who can pluck the stars, moon, sun and clouds, and give them a whole new life on paper. that's why i'm always afraid that one day i'd run out of words to describe the sky. i watched the sunrise today and all i could make out was the orange, yellow and red dispersed all over the cloud collage, the sky being pushed up by that one glorious ball. there was so much more to grapple, so many details to write about, but i was losing words. what a frustration.

***

okay so i cringed upon reading the UAAP cheerdance post all over again. all those grammar gaffes. i'm too tired to edit.

i just thought this deserves an entry.

2004-09-14T22:35:00.000-07:00

last sunday was the UAAP cheerdance compet right? we were there at araneta to see it live. the schools were great, it felt wonderful participating in UP signature cheers again, UP landed second place...pretty much the show was fab. but that's not my story. let me tell you what we had to go through to place ourselves right smack in the upper A section of the coliseum.

(it's our long standing tradition to watch UAAP cheerdance competition live, hence the entry.)

the night before: as i was babysitting my cousins, i couldn't leave the house to purchase the tickets at araneta but my mother was so sweet enough to do it for me. but she went home empty-handed as it was instructed that they'd sell the tickets the day of the competition. fiiine.

11am, september 12: we arrived at the coliseum, fully-geared, UP-spirited, all ready to fall in line. i just hadn't realized that it would be such a million-miled line. i'm not kidding. the araneta entrance was freckled with people stuck in a line that zigzagged horribly from the ticket booth up to the parking space right in front of shopwise. of course, it didn't help that people kept squeezing in between as part of the pinoy pasingit style. hell!

1pm: there were still about a hundred of people before us, two hundred behind us, the line was barely moving, and uh-oh, it started to go crazy, breaking in twos and threes until we couldn't figure out which was the right line. we were all starting to have headaches, heartaches and lunch-deprived tummy aches that we looked out for possible scalpers (futile exercise, but we kept waving at those who lingered behind the green gate, hoping to catch someone's eye and buy his ticket. desperate? YES.). there was another line system on the other side of araneta but it was more fatal as my friend told me that she had to raise her face upwards to catch her breath.

then marlon told me that skipp, a good college friend was already inside the araneta, and he had two more tickets. called him up, raised my voice over the din, wiggled through the crowd to reach the green gate where he's waiting, sweet-talked the guard to let me go near the gate, saw skipp, missed him so bad we kissed each other on the lips (because it was the only facial part that could fit between those bars.), got his tickets, handed one to marlon.

we needed two more.

but the line totally went ballistic, shooting off to more lines that didn't have beginning nor end (ickily put, but i don't know any other way to describe it), and people started pushing and shouting. i was behind a guy who complained to the coliseum operator. the mother behind me was asking what was going on. i asked the girl beside me what was going on. at that moment, we just didn't know what was happening exactly.

and then it dropped like a bomb. there were no more tickets and it's already 2pm. the lines behind us were still filled with hundreds of people donning their university colors who just wanted to go in and cheer. pagkahaba haba man ng pila, uuwi ka pa rin pala.

not us.

the compet would start around that time so we marlon and donna went ahead. there were the three of us left, me being the sole ticket-bearer. we advanced ourselves near the ticket booth where the line was still active, active being the description as people still hung around, expecting for some miracle tickets. (imagine: falling in line for hours and then when it's time for you to come up to the counter, the girl inside the booth uttered those nightmare lines - "ubos na yung ticket eh." shit. they had a more painful plight and i was just guiltily thankful that we weren't in their shoes.)

around 215pm, i got a call from some girl i don't know, who happened to be marlon's friend, and she's selling her ticket! again, it was back to penetrating the crowd and sweet-talking the guard, and coming up to the green gate. i saw her, this lovely tanya, who sold me her ticket. we just needed one more.

now this one more ticket, how we got this i chalked it up to pure divine intervention and yes, luck.

so we needed one more right? and there wasn't any ticket available and there were still lots of us wanting to get ahold of that thing, and it was almost hopeless we're ready to go home if that meant leaving one of us ticketless. so what did we do?

me going up to strangers and shamelessly chirping, "do you happen to have any extra ticket?"

uh-huh. that style. of course, i didn't expect them having tickets but it's a shot worth taking. there were "sorrys" and sympathetic smiles and lots of head-shaking and there was even this point when i went up to a guy, and asked the question. after he said he didn't have any ticket, he asked me could he have my tickets? haha. it was crazy.

and then, before giving up and going to the other fatal side of araneta where there was a final distribution of gen admission tickets, i just figured out i might as well ask tickets from those who still hung around the ticket booth. now i didn't realize there was major drama stirring there.

see, the girl who was unfortunate enough to reach the booth only to realize there wasn't a ticket available was still there (understand that there were still loooots falling in line. heck everyone was still there), conferring with the guard and her friend who was crying. apparently, this friend couldn't go inside unless this unfortunate girl - sorry i don't know how to address her :( - obtains a ticket. it was a tearjerking exchange.

"pumasok na kayo," unfortunate girl begged.
"ayokooooo!" the friend was crying and ready to tear her hair out. she was with her boyfriend.
"ano ka ba?? wag ka ngang mag-iskandalo!!"
"eh ano gusto mo? pumasok ako wala ka??!"
"manood na nga kayo eh!"
"eh ayoko nga eh!!!"
"wag kang sumigaw!!!!"

i butted in. "uuuy kung di na kayo papasok, bibilhin ko na lang ang ticket ha." tangina, i'm shameless!!

"sorry miss, di namin mabibigay ang ticket." then she turned to her friend once again. "kahit anong mangyari, walang magbibigay ng ticket. manood na kayoooo!"
"ayoko nga!!!"
"o sige tara alis na nga tayo!"

"miss bilhin ko na lang ticket mo," the guy behind me said. he was actually addressing the query to me.
"di pwede eh.."
"sige na, yan yung kelangan namin eh. upper B. 200pesos bilhin ko."
"di nga pwede eh. gusto mo ako na lang bibili nang sa inyo."
"di pwede no. sige na miss! highest bidder! 250 bibilhin ko iyan."
"sorry di pwede talaga. good luck na lang sa atin!" i backed off and went back to my friends.

once i left, another drama broke out.

the araneta management decided to open the booth once more and distribute more general admission tickets. the people in line were very happy, yes, but there were people in another line parallel to the first one who were just as happy too, but it turned out that there wasn't any reason for them to be happy because they were the wrong line and the guy in front went hysterical, cried out "KANINA PA KAMI NANDITO!" and he was almost about to punch the guard. he was crying, really.

we were still one ticket short, and it was already 230pm and we were really ready to go home and to follow what other people had decided to do, i.e, trek to the nearest shakeys and watch the UAAP cheerdance from TV when the guy who had dangled the P250 to purchase my P60 ticket decided to buy gen admission tickets from some other people and thus his upper A tickets were now available! (haha do i still make sense here?) i'd lay down the scenario:

there were three of us. the girl with the gen ad ticket, the boy with the upper A ticket who opted for the other girl's gen ad ticket, me who badly needed the upper A ticket. in a snap of a finger, we swapped tickets, handed each other money. it all looked very sly and gangster-y like we're all this in one secret deal, i tell you.

i got the ticket! we're ready to go inside the araneta though we knew the show had already began. we're all so ecstatic! i just HAD to squeeze the boy's arm before i cheerly uttered my thank you.

patience is a virtue? oh so true.

the story doesn't end there but i just lost the energy to expound on how i had to hoist myself up the wall that divided the upper B and the upper A side just so i could see the cheerdancers (see, my height's not helping in SRO cases.) but my position was so lethal one clap or one slight movement from me would have me crashing down the floor. the usherette from the upper A side was just too kind to ask me to come down and secretly lead the three of us to a better viewing position albeit technically we're not allowed there as two of our tickets only confined us to upper B. got the picture? bet you didn't, hee.

and so that's my badly detailed story. haha i just HAD to write this down.

it all boils down to one thing, though: we'd do anything just to cheer and shout for the university of the philippines. UP FIGHT!

2004-09-09T17:53:00.000-07:00

copywriting job update. monday's panel interview.

it wasn't as hard as the panel interview i had with starcom before, wherein i applied for media planner, a position which required so much math i knew my resume was destined to the trashbin the minute one of the bosses had asked me: "so what's your relationship with math?" last monday's interview was so short they simply just asked me to talk about three things: my passion, the worst ad, the best ad. of course, i was almost evangelical as i went to this another passion talk. bless the sole woman in the panel who was so warm she kept nodding and approving to whatever i said. the worst ad question was a bit tricky, it took me a while to remember the RDL babyface commercials. RDL-skinned angelika dela cruz and camille prats' testimonials were just so wrong and ugly, dude. for the best ads, i enumerated adidas "impossible is nothing" campaign, pepsi's latest and mcdonalds set of sentimental ads. they asked me if i liked nescafe's latest and without a moment's hesitation, even knowing fully that the agency's doing ads for nescafe's top rival, i chirped a yes! i had my moment when i spoke for a full minute about the need for more emotional, story-based commercials. they were okay with my speech, the president managed to mutter "good" three times but two days after the interview, i still don't know the results!

this is really really crazy, the waiting is. but i'm level-headed enough to accept that i might not get it. i might not just land that position after all this skipping and foregoing other jobs for the sake of this one. all the time i rejoiced for every stage accomplished - the seven-hour copywriting test, the interview, how i was selected to be one of those who'd go face to face with the panel, how i faced those big people and shook their hands and talked about RDL and mcdonalds ads and pointed out that aga muhlach for jollibee isn't enough (sacrilege!) simply because i'm all fed up with all those testimonial-type commercials...all these could just go to a single flatline once it's confirmed that i'm not just the right copywriter.

say. granted i really won't clinch the job, i won't have any issues accepting that of course. but my god, am i going to cry!

***

speaking of crying, i almost broke to tears again when i spoke to sally over the phone and discovered that she and jenny have a new tutor. what do i expect after leaving, right? but it's still so heartbreaking the minute i found out about it i hurriedly informed sally that i'm going to call again to schedule our mall date, said goodbye and hung up. i'm sorry this sounds so arrogant but i can't imagine any other tutor to those korean darlings than me.

i've always intended to write an in-depth essay about this tutor love but just couldn't get around to doing it. i'll try tonight.

***

i've been meaning to write someone a goodbye letter too. it's all too late for that - he's back in the states, married and a father-to-be anytime next month - but still, i need to let it all out in one sad soliloquy. bring on the drama!

***

hey arnold!
as told by ginger
remi
sarah the teen princess (i happen to like sarah geronimo :) )
sunshine of love (hee.)
love in the city (hee again.)
hiram (hee. once more.)
the amazing race
spongebob squarepants

the joy of bumming lies on the couch and the remote control. (and oh, you don't have any idea how i was saddened to know that they're going to take out goodmorning kris! there goes my morning habit. haha!)

2004-08-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

if i didn't pass that copywriting exam, i would just say to myself that it was a justifiable risk. some thought i was a total bonkers for ditching that surefire account manager position in favor of a copywriting test that would land me a job closest to my passion. "screw passion", i could almost make out that out of their minds. now screw them. i am confucius' greatest follower - i would do whatever it takes to find a job i love so i would never have to work ever.

but the exam? oh god, it was one of the hardest i've ever taken. seven items for seven hours. i took the exam from 9 to 5, with one hour break in between. the first item was come up with an ad for goldilocks' newest rice meals (ala quickchow's chowfan). second an advocacy campaign for marital rape, then an ad banning the use of cellphone. we also were asked to introduce a new unique selling point for a liquor and write an ad for a feminine pad that the client would scorn about and another ad promoting my favorite brand - i used nescafe, which might be an awful mistake since the agency's client is great taste coffee. the last item was well, the why should we hire you question.

it wasn't hard like math-hard, but the thinking and the conceptualizing could just go on forever such that an hour after you started writing that one word in the page you still wouldn't churn out the second. i remember that for the goldilocks ad i had to name the rice meals "rice n shine" so i could employ this father character who would shake the entire house each morning with his "let's rice n' shine!" a bit icky name for a rice meal but i couldn't think of anything else! for the feminine pad advertisement wherein we had to make use of a concept that a conservative client wouldn't approve of, i thought of that "bakat" element, you know the pad's so thick it seems like it's jutting forth from one's behind. and for the radio ad using the fave brand nescafe, i just had to use the "yakap" factor, how drinking coffee on a rainy day is paralleled to someone hugging you tight. "at kung ikaw ang yakap ko, parang yakap ko ang langit..." uhhuh. i used that yakap song - most definitely not la lopez' version, though.

it was hard but it was so fun. thinking creatively and writing, it was a wonderful exam nonetheless. i had to doodle for the storyboard's sake and the doodle was just so outstandingly ugly but it was still fun! sure that exam was one of the hardest, but one of the most enjoyable too. and if at least i passed that exam, wouldn't it be so great? i get to do the job i want. but if not, well, i'll look for another one. i'm not stopping myself from choosing another copywriting job. i'm sooo into this passion thing it'd be such a shame if i end up with a work that doesn't make me tingle. ooh, that word. tingle.

***

but because the exam was still technically hard - it is hard no matter where you look at it -and i was almost positive i wouldn't be able to pass it, i jumped for an instant therapy: shopping. three bras, a polo blouse, beige wedges. i bought everything within thirty minutes, fearing that if i lingered long enough in the mall, my cheapskate self would drag the depressed alter-ego back home.

**

glee for garfield!

2004-08-08T14:05:00.000-07:00

i can't make it to garfield's mall tour today at sm manila and megamall, but there's another one coming this august 15 so yeheeey! oh god. i must've really dried out my cellphone load because i registered twice for the raffle draw (even eased my mom into doing it to), downloaded garfield chocolate candies game, subscribed to the daily garfield calendar logo, and right now, i'm still waiting for the garfield MMS i ordered. i had made the mistake of not going to SM for the first screening of garfield, thus i wasn't able to avail of the raffle tickets. but forward again to august 15 when i can snag a free mini movie poster as long as i bring four friends to watch the movie with me again.

it's real crazy and i get so ga-ga over this garfield overload in the market today. my friends, too! straight from office, guia saw this garfield mascot scampering around the mall and what did she do? she took a pic of it for me. mark did the same when he saw the mascot. these are the same people who went with me last year at rob galleria to chase another garfield the mascot, which come to think of it, was a very awful imitation of my cat.

***

this is a beautiful sunday. phone call from my bestfriend, major laughtrip with my brother mikey, getting garfield crazy, rereading one of my favorite YA books, writing a letter to kim, crab and coke for lunch, rain for the added drama...and it's not even 3pm yet. cheesy, but i savor moments like this. daily magic, little things, knowing that at this present moment, everything is as perfect as i imagine. hah, that's what you get when you're hurled towards the predicament of the century. every little thing matters. every small joy counts, and really, you even realize that there is no such thing as 'small joy.' happiness is happiness, and it's not subjected to any dosage, measurement. you stretch your happiness and you make it as
lengthy as you want. you manufacture your own prescription.

i am fully aware that things can get wrong any moment from now. murphy's law, baby. there's the case of the missing boss, my future: they're all ready to get spazzed out. there are a hundred ways for my life to go totally haywire. but i'm happy right now and i'm letting it be.

andrew matthews will be so proud of me.

survivors

2004-08-06T22:15:00.000-07:00

pam is a morning show FM radio announcer whose face doesn't even slightly give the impression that she's already 31. if i were brave enough, i'd like to be her. during college, she was the only one who rollerbladed her way from classroom to classroom. she mastered the sign language because she had an ex who was deaf. she had the most explosive love affairs - she never dated anyone her age or older. she smokes with such panache that if i were a smoker, i'd wish to have the same flicking fingers as hers, the same neck that dramatically archs with every puff.

arnold is a twenty-four year old darling amiga who had been directing fashion shows, wedding exhibitions and other special events for seven years. he is so talented and experienced that i wonder why can't he be famous now? he giggles every time he finishes a sentence, and the way he covers his mouth every time he does that...it's crazy!

rhia is the most ladylike of us all. the most pious and affectionate, too. she can be so paranoid one minute then super-optimistic the next. goddarn, i want her height and gait!

carrie is the bubbly, funny one. she works in a callcenter and she drives us wild with her downloading-mp3s-while-working and snapping-at-my-korean-employers stories. she is as petite as i am, but she fusses over us like a panickin' OC mother. she has this certain swagger that adds boldness to her personality but really, i think she's one endearing, sweet girl.

then there's me. and what do we really have in common?

we had last week. we were - and are still, who knows - stuck in a soap opera rut. we're all victimized by one beyond-our-wildest-dreams plight that could have sent us to courtrooms any minute. it's wild and ridiculous but it's happening to us, and we have graced friday's with our presence every night for the past week just so the restaurant's festive ambience could find its way back to our skin. we're all fearing for our future. i still am. but i don't know, i have been with them and they're just so amazing as allies in this one humongous fight that i am positive we could and we would win in the end.

we had all come from this meeting, facing the people whose money was taken away by our boss, and i was as terrified as a mouse. it was a grand showcase of my feeble self, who had subsequently garnered "kawawa ka naman you're still a fresh grad" sympathies. the meeting ended, and the five of us, not knowing what to do, walked and walked, roamed around the makati CBD, went up the greenbelt walkway, rushed past people whose problems have nothing to do with broken careers no-thanks to a monster boss. soon, the greenbelt parish loomed into view and it drew us, our feet collectively careening towards that monumental sign of guidance. we entered the church, we all knelt together. the tears came and rolled. arnold looked at the crucifix fervently and pleadingly. i covered my face with my palms and sobbed. carrie just bowed her head and closed her eyes. pam knelt for a good thirty seconds then sat and stared at the crucifix. rhia was so faraway in her prayers. we were all faraway.

then per routine, we all got back to friday's, ordered ice tea, grappled each other's company. and halfway through finishing a stick, pam turned to all of us and said these magic words: "when i looked at the crucifix kanina, i realized one thing. maybe god wants us to fight this one. ayaw niyang maabsuwelto tayo right away. he really wants us to fight this one."

and fight, we do.

2004-07-21T00:34:00.000-07:00

second and third paragraphs of the story i'm working on. i can't seem to go further than these:

"What was life beyond these walls, beyond this room, outside the rundown apartment which housed girls like her - girls straight from the idyllic life who found their ways out of postcard bondage and boredom. She called herself now a Manila girl who could dress up like all other Manilenas, goddesses of denim cutoffs, pastel tops, beaded bracelets and dangling earrings. She would talk like them - soon she would pronounce Tagalog words without a hint of her Bisayan ancestry. She would wander around the city aimlessly, visit all those monster malls with a confidence that bannered she belonged here, that she was destined to be nowhere but here. She would save money earned from manning her distant aunt's sari-sari store and then she would
go to school, finish a business degree, get a higher-paying job, move to a condo unit, drive a car, fall in love with a doctor, settle down. She was madly attracted to the idea of smothering her life with all the city's fancy whims and gimmickries. She, Jasmina Federo, was the queen and this room would be the headquarter of her dream, the peephole to her future paradise, the precursor to all the wild and beautiful things that were about to happen. She knew the dynamics of ambition and she had recently unlearned the fear of failing. Time and luck were going to be
kind and pliant to her, she knew that, she believed that.

Mina had an elephant-sized faith and that's what brought her from the island of Loreto right to Quiapo, Manila. She had dodged early marriage proposals and offers to work in the town market and waited for the right person to bring her to her own nirvana. She had spent hours sitting on the edge of the dock and swinging her legs, gazing at the sea before her and waving at the motorboats gliding by, connecting with some unknown soul that soon this sea would snake its way to her promising future. And it had happened. The beatification of her fate, it had happened. A woman by the name of Tara Clara had arrived in the town and every human being was smitten. She was Mother Mary to the old folks, Britney Spears to the teenagers, the potential mistress to the men. But the minute Mina saw Tara Clara getting off the boat in her summer dress and shaking the hands of the people and earning "Who is she" from the clueless, she knew, right there and then, that this was the woman who could make things happen for her."

i posted the story snippets because i'm too busy to actually blog. i promised myself i'd keep this blog as active and alive as possible, so the excerpts should do the trick.

2004-07-18T01:31:00.000-07:00

the past hour i was writing a short story, at least one third of it. i had no idea what the plot was going to be, i just made things up as i went along. i came up with so-so paragraphs but the joy from pouring over sentences and agonizing over the selection of words was there. i was half-sleepy, half-hungry but a milo drink was all i needed to go on and now, i'm pretty excited as to how i would eventually build up the story.

"She left the shower on and closed the bathroom door. The muffled pitter-patter of the liquid from the nozzle relaxed her, serving its purpose as an alternative for rain banging against windows, something she could not have because her cubbyhole of an apartment only had a single window located inside - and she be damned - the bathroom! The windowless room was a square area that had the kitchen counter on one side and the bed on the other. There were only the radio, the closet and the vanity dresser to grace the floor and the walls had random cracks all over, mini fault
lines that ran from the ceiling to the floor, that cut across nasty paint peelings, stains and smudges from God knows what. The ceiling fan made an annoying whirring, as if it had to exert so much effort just to draw air from this claustrophobic dream. She sat on the edge of the bed, listened to the makeshift rain, took a sip of her instant coffee, smiled to herself. This wasn't the ideal bachelorette pad but for a thousand pesos a month, it would do for now. The place was a benchmark of her freedom, a tactile proof that she reigned supreme, that she could make it on her own."

that was the first paragraph, it wasn't much but i could always go back and revise it. i really love this - late-night storywriting session, my own version of literary rehearsal, a quite rare saturday night activity. i want to write more stories, imaginative ones, wild ones, beautiful ones. i want to get better at this, really.

now that is my perfect idea of working.

2004-07-17T03:59:00.000-07:00

"we have to remember that we're not working for our bosses. let's erase that notion. we're working for god, for our family, for ourselves."

last night's thesis statement: me rooting for its veracity, guia spiralling through an ache from what she deemed as an unfair employee treatment and thus drawing strength and encouragement from it. i was on my corporate attire, with killer heels that brought me from intramuros to inquirer office in makati to megamall to boot, and i looked at myself, at the two of us who feasted and fought over the biggest share of leche flan, and it felt so radically different and surreal to be talking about these things. employment, meetings, salary, promotion, demotion, job-related terms adding up to our vocabulary. the conversation bordered on the sentimental and longing for good old highschool days, but that just wasn't it. it was fully knowing that we're now thrusted to this entirely new battlefield that could make or break us, that could send us to early quarter-life crisis if we let it be. i had been working as a lecturer and tutor for the past year but that was different, that was lighter and uncomplicated it didn't even sound like working at all.now, i'm required to write press releases and meet up with network head honchos and report to the manager and get yelled at because this damn newspaper hadn't arranged the proper advertising arrangements and i have to wear high heels and shake people's hands and look at people full in the eye and be perky and patient half the time. fine with me, i'm actually extremely grateful for this opportunity (according to the boss, i was handpicked among seventy hopefuls) and i don't want to sound as if this job susses out the best of me, because if there's one thing that guia and i agreed upon last night, that was doing one's best while eradicating some sense of working for someone else.

i miss working for sally and jenny though. i miss them and the entire household so much. when mrs. park, jenny and sally brought me to the gate and waved goodbye, i barely looked at them. i was almost crying. i wanted to hug sally and jenny and when jenny called out, "see you tomorrow!" right there and then i wished i could stay longer and teach them until it's time for them to leave for korea. it would break my heart to find out they're under the tutelage of some other tutor who wouldn't bother to crawl on the floor and pretend to be mermaid for a more imaginative way of teaching. i had left sally a letter and told her not to open it until i go, and i tried so hard not to be uber sickly sappy on that letter. her father smsed me that night i left, asked me when could i teach the girls again and thanked me for a year-long service to the family.

well, i hope i can really, actually render service to the company i'm with now, and that i can manage to pull everything sans involving myself to some ratty politicking. oh man, i absolutely needed last night's pep talk and today's thinking-out-loud session you know? i mustn't get disappointed and disillusioned this early.

***

okay. welcome to the blog, by the way. this saturday aside from sleeping the entire day and playing name-that-tune on the phone with mark (songs i played on the speaker: bioman, maskman, shaider, ghost fighter, ultraman theme songs!) i decided to resurrect this blog and finally hammer myself to this discipline once again. oh i hope i don't sound boring here, and that i get to religiously chronicle the events worth the blog space. it sucks because many a time i have fallen to just keeping the important moments in my head and i'm notorious for having a poor memory! last night, guia told me i had always been nice to send a letter the day after we talked out some of her problems and i was like, "ginawa ko yun?" haha, me and my amnesiac tendencies.

back to blogging.

2004-07-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

check post:

hello, i am sam and i love you. <3